Let me ask you a question…Have you been in a space recently where you are tired of people asking you for things, taking advantage of your kindness, and taking your kindness for weakness? Well, let me ask you this question…Have you set boundaries for yourself? Have you set boundaries for the people that are around you? Have you taken the time to really think about what it is that you want for yourself in terms of, people's behavior around you? Have you taken the time to figure out how you want people to behave around you and what you're willing and not willing to tolerate?
So listen, today we're gonna be talking about setting healthy boundaries.
Okay? So let's talk about it! What are healthy boundaries? So healthy boundaries are the things that you believe in, your morals, your values, your personal space, right? Your emotional energy, as well as your time. These are boundaries that you can set for yourself to help you navigate life, and also to keep certain people at bay, and to also protect your peace. Healthy boundaries can also be set for family members. They can be set for friends, co-workers, romantic partners, and even strangers.
So let's get into how you can actually set healthy boundaries for yourself so that you can feel at your best and not feel drained. So you don't feel like you’re constantly in a state of resentment or regret, which is not a great place to be in as you’re not able to operate at your highest and best self.
And when you're not operating at your highest and best self, it's really hard to, to really do the things that God called you to, to do, and to be. Because sometimes when we don't set healthy boundaries for ourselves or for other people around us, it puts us in this space of depression and anxiety.
So I wanna give you five ways to help you navigate setting healthy boundaries.
1. Reflect on what makes you feel safe and the least amount of stress
Though we will experiences challenges and some level of stress in life, it’s important to sit down and maybe journal what you need for you to be comfortable. What you need to feel secure. It’s really hard to get upset with people when we feel taken advantage of, but remember we teach people how to treat us. And they can’t do what we will not allow. So, take some time to really think about what you need in terms of setting your own healthy boundaries, so you can start living a more peaceful life.
2. Communicate those boundaries to people around you
You have not, because you asked not. Wait, I don’t think that’s where I was trying to go with that LOL. Essentially what I’m saying is that you have to speak up for yourself. A lot of times we think that things come through osmosis and people are supposed to read our minds and know what we're thinking. But it doesn’t work that way. And a lot of us, don't like conflict, right? So we're gonna do the least amount of communicating possible sometimes just to keep the peace. But you have to be firm and communicate your boundaries. I'm getting ahead of myself. You have to communicate your boundaries so that people understand and are aware of where the lines are drawn in the sand when it comes to you; when it comes to your emotional energy, your time, personal space, morals, values, beliefs, and so forth. Okay?
3. You must stand firm on the boundaries you’ve set
Sometimes we set boundaries and we're not consistent with them. And somehow people can slide through the cracks and take advantage of your areas of weakness and vulnerability. We have to set those boundaries and stand firm on those boundaries so that we can be the best that we can be
4. Don't be afraid to say “NO”
But don't be afraid to say “No.” Why? Because “No” is a complete sentence. It doesn't require an explanation. And I've had to learn this over the years. It hasn't been easy, but I had to learn it for my own personal preservation. People will take advantage of you and we must learn to say “No” because we teach people how to treat us. So, it’s super important that we stand firm.
5. Take time for yourself without any guilt
A lot of times we feel like when we take time for ourselves, pampering ourselves, affirming ourselves, and when we focus on and prioritize ourselves, somehow that makes us selfish. Listen, I beg to differ So, take time for yourself and do it daily if possible. Do it regularly, if you can’t do it daily (e.g. weekly, monthly, etc.}.” But take that time for yourself because taking time for yourself allows you to clear your head. It allows you to think more logically about things. It helps you to make better decisions. It helps you to reset to feel at your highest possible self and vibrate at the highest frequency possible.
So, listen, sis…if you are in a space where you're struggling with setting boundaries and trying to figure out what that looks like for you, I want you to book a free coaching session with me today! I look forward to chatting with you!
Xoxo,
